Dig-in & Defend or Up-sticks & Run?

As I was sitting out on my terrace, listening to the tumble and gurgle of the water feature, thoughts flitted through my mind…..is what I am doing the right thing? How does it impact my family, what are my friends thinking? Is it good enough? Will women want what I am offering? Is it the right time?

And the bombardment of doubts just kept on coming.

When embarking on a new venture, in the business world, I guess you would call these questions business case analysis or risk assessments. In the world of a woman stepping outside of her comfort zone, trying something new and enthusiastically grabbing her vision and passion with both hands it is better known as self-doubt and insecurity.

Let’s rewind about six months and I had just arrived home after the most amazing workshop which challenged and awakened aspects of my self that were hidden and dormant or I had just been too busy (or too stubborn) to recognise – I knew we as women need connection, we need to be seen and heard at our very deepest levels and that there is just not enough opportunity for us to relate to each other in that way.

So I returned all fired up and ready to go…the Universe aligned in ways I had never imagined, one thing led to another, a little shove here, a little nudge there and I had committed to offering Circle for my closest friends, was a guest on a podcast, set up the social media pages, got working on a website with an amazing duo of ladies in different states of Australia and had a Circle offering underway with the support of a fabulous local Yoga Studio – then came COVID-19, social distancing and self-isolation and of course spare time…..perfect conditions for questions and doubts.

On some level I think caution and questioning is a way of protecting us and stems from the ancient times of keeping us alive by hitting the fear button and changing our balance of hormones to either dig in and defend or up-sticks and run.

Let’s cut to the chase here; I decided to dig in and defend. For those who know me….I don’t run! Give me a game of netball or a Zumba class any day but ask me to go out running….nope, not for me! So, I am going to pivot and dance like no-one is watching and remain true to myself and exercise my trust muscle that this offering is placed where it should be.

I am not hurting anyone by remaining true to myself and my vision and my family love me no matter what and my friends will either raise me up or step away, that is always their choice. As to whether it is good enough, well we will see, I cannot guarantee perfection, only that I will show up to do my very best and hold space for those women who are called to sit in Circle with me.

BOOM self-doubt begone!

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